Really facebook…bite me.

Really facebook…bite me.

It’s a funny thing. The advertising on facebook. The very day that I changed my relationship status to single I was inundated with pictures of gorgeous, rich, single men that just wanted to date mature women. No young women wanted.

First off, just bite me because.

Not only are you pissing me off by saying I am old, you are false advertising by saying that the gorgeous guys you put in those pictures for the mature dating sights actually exist.

Well my friends…I am calling BULLLLLSHIT.

Seriously look at these guys…

Are they like totally in my freaking head? How the hell do they know that I like bald guys?? What the hell are they doing? Reading my posts, stalking me…I gotta say, I am a little freaked out here. Check out the second one…even the age couldn’t get much closer. Privacy my ass…. Well unless they can actually follow through and hook me up. But I doubt it.

And where did the Antique furniture ad come from…because I am old…gah. Assholes.

The chocolate is a no brainer. Obviously.

Except it says frigid…and who the hell is Lucy?

The terrifying part is that if I were to go to these sites and actually sign up, I know it would be exactly the same guys that are on Plenty of Fish and the other dating sites from around here. Which is frightening…cause I have either dated them, or tried to hide from them.

And I know without a shadow of a doubt that neither of those two gorgeous guys in the pictures are gonna be on there.

Dammit.

So Facebook…find someone else to taunt, I don’t wanna play your reindeer games anymore.

I am going to put my relationship status as complicated…that should mess you up some now shouldn’t it?

34 thoughts on “Really facebook…bite me.

  1. Sandi

    Optimist view:
    Well, at least you didn’t get on the wrong list…where they assume you are lesbian or bisexual and send you dating sites to sign up for that…although, maybe you might want to try your luck on one of those sites?

    Oh, you can bet if you were allowed to type in “complicated” there would be a “complicated” website advertising to you!

    I worked with someone that was transvestite, perhaps transsexual (born a man and living his life as a woman,) but had a romantic relationship with their roommate that was a woman…now think about that for a minute. That’s complicated. They would need that website.

    Sandi
    http://www.ahhsome.wordpress.com
    Lake Forest, CA USA

  2. Jan B

    I just HAVE to comment on this, since FB & yours truly don’t really have matching personalities, to say the least. LOL.
    See my latest post about the latest adventure I had with them. Crazy shit. Oh well.
    The ‘targetted’ advertisements toward you is the stuff / money that makes FB work. They get their millions and millions of bucks that way. “It’s free and always will be”. Yeah right. They OWN your data. It’s in their terms of service. No kidding.
    The targetted advertisements are not FB’s invention by the way. Google does it, everybody does it. When I’m visiting your site I am staring at an advertisement from StedenDating.nl Den Haag. That’s because dating was the red line in the comments on your post and the post itself. By my IP number the advertiser knows I’m from The Netharlands. Not sure how they know where i live, because my ISP is located in Amsterdam. Sorry for my techie rambling.
    P.s. I’m a normal guy, kinda sorta, maybe, I think. ;)

  3. pip

    Facebook is scary. Don’t you think it is an invasion of privacy? I am always telling our kids not to post too much persoanl ino on Facebook…how secure is this site anyway?

    Do you like bad men?

  4. Rachel

    I guess I should feel lucky that I always just get ads for grants for teacher’s wanting to go to graduate school, since I have listed my occupation as “teacher” on my Facebook profile. However, if I ever look over my husband’s shoulder while he is on Facebook and see those pretty single ladies in the margin of his page, sometimes I get upset with him. “What did you post on Facebook that has them recommending hot single girls to you???”

  5. Heidi

    I’m not sure what has been more funny with my visit…reading your passionate, hilarious rant-of-a-post…or the comments following. Nonetheless, I had a good laugh. Way to get your funny back.

  6. Kevin

    I hear success stories sometimes about dating sites, but I don’t believe it–I will always call internet dating the “freak show”. People on there have an obvious ton of baggage or they are average looking people who think they are “trophy wife material”, who are looking for guys earning 75K/year or more (or, I suppose from the other direction, lots of uggo guys who think they deserve a trophy wife and won’t settle for a real person).

    As for cellophane on CDs–once at Best Buy, I went to play a CD in my car that I just bought from there, and there was no disc in the case! So I took it, and the other one I bought, back in before leaving town, and the young lady there was very helpful (yes a helpful BestBuy employee–they probably fired her). She got me a new one, then showed me a quick way of unwrapping a new CD, which I usually screw up. She dragged the bottom of it along something to tear the plastic, then ripped all that off quickly, then unhooked the bottom from the corner peg (or hinge if you want to call it that), then just lifted the front cover up, off the top corner peg/hinge, pulled it up away from the back cover, and peeled that godawful annoying glued-on top sticker thing off clean as a frickin’ whistle. Just have to watch out not to break the little pegs off when you’re taking it apart or putting it back together. Doesn’t work when you’re drunk.

  7. Karyn

    The picture of the guys that come up look gay to me. They are just too good looking at our ‘advanced’ age. Please, if I am going to cheat on my husband it is going to be with a guy who likes women as more than great friends and wine-drinking buddies.

  8. Rafa acmewolf

    There are many monitoring programs that monitoring and detect certain words, just the advertising that appears right beside to the comments in your blog this time only shows “Ukraine girls”, “Asian date”, “chinese women date” “ladies long underwear” ..OK You have the proof. I think Google has in “setting” a box to “uncheck” tracking keywords and not put advertising related.

  9. Richard Wiseman

    Hey that was great! You found your funny and it came back shining! Did you send it to the dry cleaners and forget. Great post and yeah aren’t they assholes for doing that with adverts. I hate getting dating adverts or links. My status clearly says married and I get stuff. I think I’ll change it to ‘Very Married’. I also personally despise & hate the spam twitter followers who are clearly spam porn links or just unfortunate girls/ women with low esteem trying to get the attention daddy never gave them and using their breasts to do it. Sorry I’m sure what made me think of that was the picture of the two bald guys. Anyway good to read your ‘funny’ again, made me laugh out loud. God bless you and I hope your son is getting better.

  10. SpilledInkGuy

    Hahaha… it would be interesting to see what ‘complicated’ pulled up. Books on astrophysics, perhaps? Or tips on how to get through all that cellophane on a new CD?
    :)

  11. DaveRFarmer

    Just had a brainwave! Change your date of birth on Facebook and you’ll be flooded with young flexible guys willing to do your every bidding!

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