The Redneck Princess

So you know we can hear you right?

So you know we can hear you right?

So you know we can hear you right?

blackberry

Because you are yelling into your cell phone.

Even though we are supposedly in a “no cell phone” zone in the medical clinic.

I mean I know everyone is playing around on their phones quietly…

Most of us aren’t talking at the top of our lungs to our spouse, or whoever he was, about how in debt you are and how you only missed three or four payments on whatever it was that you owe money on and couldn’t figure out why you owed so much more than it should have been.

Now I am just saying here, but I know for a fact, that if I couldn’t make a payment on time, or had to defer payments three or four  times, which you kept informing us of, I wouldn’t be telling all of the clinic about it, you seem to have not had a problem with that part.

In fact repeating it so the other person on the phone maybe finally understood what you were saying was sort of getting old. We all got it after the first time.

Really.

And couldn’t this be a conversation you had over dinner or something, instead of in the middle of the morning in front of a whole bunch of people that you don’t even know and that didn’t really feel good, hence sitting in the clinic, and already weren’t impressed with the fact that we were probably all about 45 minutes late getting into our appointments?

Oh wait, I guess that might have been just me, but I doubt it.

It’s not like the screaming at the top of their lungs children or the people coughing their nasty germs all over the damn place wasn’t enough to make most of us want to run screaming from the building right?

I mean it’s a full moon.

So you were just the icing on the cake.

But maybe just for next time, you would be kind enough to step right outside the door where all the smokers are hanging out to have your conversation, then we can get all the nasty stuff done at once.

Thanks for your consideration…

I had this post sitting in the background, thinking maybe it was just me being a weirdo…and then today, pretty much exactly a week later. It happens again.

I went to Value Village this morning. Bruce had a three hour appointment and I decided I needed a thrift store day. You see, he….like most men, have pretty much no tolerance for a store like that. I get it, and I have a much more successful time of it when I am without him anyways. Today was the day.

So at 9:30…bright and early, I head to the store.

I grab a cart, with high hopes that I will find my much needed winter sweaters and maybe a new pair of cheap ass jeans.

Slowly I meander through the isles of other peoples crap, thoroughly enjoying the peace and quiet of  early in the morning shopping.

Finally I get to the clothes, now if you have ever been to Value Village, this can be a daunting task. There are rows and rows and rows of clothes.

I take my time, knowing I still have 2 and a half hours to waste, and I start finding some pretty cool stuff.

Then over the loudspeaker, the lady says that it is seniors day. This totally strikes fear into my heart. Seniors day is a nightmare here, seriously, and I mean no disrespect to any senior anywhere, I really don’t…but it’s true.

Of course it doesn’t stop me shopping, I carry on as fearlessly as I can, I mean I don’t get a chance for three hours of uninhibited shopping nearly enough…

And then it happens.

I don’t know exactly when they came in, but all of a sudden there is a commotion up by the tils, an old guy that has, what I assume at the time, gone up to flirt with the cashier.

She pretty much blows him off, like she has been there and done that, it seems he has been in the store more than once.

He then latches on to another woman who is walking by, she must have been lonely and looking for someone to talk to because she falls for it and they start a conversation.

Now he is not a quiet soul, which I can totally relate too, but his filter has totally gone missing, either that, or he just has zero common sense, I am still not sure which is was, maybe both… because he starts telling this stranger and the uninterested cashier that his wife is in the back of the store buying more junk. He continues to tell them the whole store how their house is full of junk and she just keeps buying more.

Now at this point, I kind of look around to see if the wife is anywhere in close range of me, I am not really into getting hit in the head by something on the way by while she is trying to hit him…I don’t see her.

He finally finishes his spiel and starts to walk to the back of the store…

To find his wife.

When he finds her, she starts.

She says loud enough for ALL of us to hear…

that he needs to stop being so loud and she would really appreciate it if he stopped talking about her to other people because she could hear everything he said about her from the back of the store and he better stop telling people that their house is full of junk because they have a very nice house and she doesn’t appreciate him being like that and he needs to think before he talks and she found this great big 4 foot artificial plant for him, yes for him… for his room and isn’t it cool and won’t it look great in there and it’s only 3.99 with 30 % off.

I kid you not.

She never even stopped  giving him shit for saying she buys too much junk, before she is telling him about the new junk she found.

And HE says, well if it’s only 3.99 with 30% off, you are pretty much getting it for free.

Now at this point, I am pretty much laughing out loud, I look around and almost everyone in the store is looking at these two and listening to the conversation.

It was impossible not to.

Can you say enabling at it’s finest?

They then soon left with their new plant, for his room. For 3.99 with 30 % off.

I found two sweaters and a pair of jeans. With O % off. I was ok with that. It means they don’t consider me a senior yet…

And the amusement was totally free.

Sometimes that is just the best part of the day right?

I do miss my trusty Value Village sidekick Cathy though…we had a pretty good time this day in Victoria…

Oh and she is gonna KILL me when she sees this picture on here, but damn it was funny, still makes me laugh out loud…

Love you girl xoxox

 

6 thoughts on “So you know we can hear you right?

  1. Separated Dad

    Once I was on a train journey in England. The guy sitting opposite me was talking on his cell phone in much the same way as you describe above. This guy was a candidate for Parliament (we were in First Class). That didn’t stop him from discussing a rather nasty fungal infection he was fighting off. His wife obviously asked him a lot of questions about what the doctor had diagnosed because he went on at lenght about it, completely oblivious to the folks around him. I’ve often wondered if he ever realized later what he’d done.

    When I spoke to my wife (as she was then), I mentioned loudly that it had been hard to concentrate on my work on the train because some ninny had been talking too loudly on the train on his phone. The snickers around the carriage reassured me that my fellow travelers were on my side for this one…

  2. JanBierens

    Humor is everywhere if you got the eyes to see it – or in this case hear it. Some people are like that.
    You know what the main fun part was in this case? You had to ‘enjoy’ him for maybe fifteen minutes… They can enjoy each other probably for years to come…

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