The Redneck Princess

When gum is too complicated….

When gum is too complicated….

When gum is too complicated….

chiclets

I never thought I would see the day when buying gum would confuse me as much as buying shoes does.

All I want is something that doesn’t taste like a mouth full of weirdness.

What ever happened to Chiclets? Bubble gum? Thrills?

Thank goodness I can still buy Juicy fruit or there would be no gum chewing for me.

It’s too bad the commercial sucks.

Really badly.

It makes me want to take the Producers and every. single. person. involved. in the making of that stupid fucking commercial and shake them hard while asking them why???

What the hell were you even thinking making that commercial? Juicy fruit has been around since the beginning of time…ACT LIKE IT.

Dammit.

Luckily for them there are not many other kinds of gum I will chew.

Most of the problem is that I abhor the taste of aspertame or any other sugar substitute.

Takes out about 500% of the gum in the world.

Seriously.

What the hell happened to sugar in our gum?

What the hell happened to the good old days when all we worried about our kids eating was too much sugar.

I totally know it is all bad, but to me…sugar is the lesser of the evils.

Aspartame is nasty, and not something that I willingly ingest into my body, I absolutely HATE the taste of it. It doesn’t even matter if it is good or bad for you, I just hate the flavor.

I miss being a kid…when we would get up early Saturday morning and walk to the Hopkins Landing store in the summer sun, excited to spend our carefully saved two or three dollars on as much candy and gum as we could buy.

Who could forget Freshen up gum…god only knows what they put inside that…straight corn syrup I am sure, but damn it was good when you were ten.

freshen-up

I remember buying all our goodies, which absolutely ALWAYS included Pixie sticks and a Root-beer Popsicle…

I loved reaching into the old cooler and digging around until you found the root-beer one, the cold air blowing up into your face reminding you it was summer…YOU WERE ON VACATION!!!!

At least that is what I loved…

I somehow remember that my brother loved the orange popsicles, but I might be wrong. It might have been Smallfry…whom I absolutely cannot remember what his first name really was….but trying to decide whether to get the marshmallow bananas or the licorice with the last 25 cents was a big choice…90% of the time the marshmallow bananas would win with me.

And please don’t tell me there was aspartame and I just missed it. I will deny everything.

I long for the days when you could eat your Popsicle sitting on the dock in the sun, swinging your legs over the edge and just wondering what the day had in store for you.

Some days we brought our towels with us, knowing that it was exactly where we were going to be all day.

And you always bought gum.

It was an easy pick.

There wasn’t 75 different fucking flavors…there wasn’t dessert in a stick like there is now…I mean seriously, if I want to eat Lemon Meringue pie…I am going to eat the freaking PIE, not chew gum that tastes like it.

Because I love me some pie.

Just not in a stick of gum.

All I want is that Juicy fruit flavor, or if I could find it, that burst of Freshen up, I am totally all about that fresh burst of sugar into your mouth with what was possibly a little mouthwash just for good measure.

I really only want old fashioned…

Some double bubble would be fine…if I had any idea where to find it.

And what ever happened to it in the little square packs? I mean this is pretty but I miss the old one..

Double_Bubble

You totally remember this, if you are as old as me.

Which I know, some of you are.

And I have some Juicy fruit in my purse. To remind me of way back when…like in 1974.

When things were simple, and gum was just … well … gum.

Happy Friday all xooxo

 

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