The Redneck Princess

Excuse me, did you get your license from a Cracker Jack box?

Excuse me, did you get your license from a Cracker Jack box?

Because its NOT REAL…and you need to go take your drivers test and get a real one.

I have thought this in my head a million times…today I am sure it was true.

It all went well in Vancouver, people are maniacs and drive 150 km in an 80 km zone…but that is fine. People seem to pay attention, and go around.

No incidents.

But I get back to Vancouver Island, and all hell breaks loose.

It is like my Mustang is a magnet for fucking stupid.

I nearly got hit TWICE, yes TWICE, and I was not even five minutes off of the ferry. I was in my own lane going STRAIGHT. How the hell do you not see me in the lane beside you?

My car is bright fucking PURPLE and it is sunny out…WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?

Do they think they are imagining things and there really isn’t a classic car driving beside them…so they may as well just drive into it?

I DON’T GET IT…

*But people I am telling you, if you are the one that hits me in my Mustang because you are being stupid and not watching what you are doing, if you are talking on the phone, or have your cute little dog in your lap, and smoke into me…

You had better make damn good and sure you fucking kill me. Because if I get out of that car, it isn’t going to be pretty, you are not going to like it. I will NOT use a filter, and you are going to get a punch in the head.*

Just saying.

Now I am not a violent person, but I am getting pretty sick and tired of people doing everything in the world except DRIVING when they are driving.

I am sick of watching out for you as well as me, once and a while is fine, but it is all the damn time now. People just don’t watch what they are doing, at all.

Also, why do you feel the need to tailgate someone? I just don’t get this. I will get out of your way as soon as I can, in any situation, but if I am boxed in, and traffic is bad, you are not going to get past me, and if you do, you will be the car in front of me ahead, whoopie shit. I will catch you at the light dumbass. Why do you need to be touching my car’s bumper, cause seriously…again see above paragraph*. It isn’t my fault you are an impatient asshole.

Don’t make me remind you, it isn’t worth it. Really.

What could be so damn urgent on a sunny Saturday that everyone is in a hurry to go nowhere? Wouldn’t it be better if you actually made it there alive, I think so.

I wish I could post this for the whole world to see, I wish that people would just slow down and pay attention to what they are doing.

After the drive home, I am seriously reconsidering selling my truck. At least it is big, and people seem less ridiculous when I am driving it, because I am bigger than them. I mean, if you hit me, you still need to see above paragraph*, that hasn’t changed. You will just have more time to get away from me,  because I am higher up…like that is gonna save you.

You can always hope I guess.

The ride home was uneventful once I got out of Nanaimo.

I went the Old scenic highway, it was a beautiful day and a really nice cruise.

Gave me a little thinking time, and I listened to some older country CD’s I haven’t heard for ages. It cheered me up from the earlier clusterfuck that is Nanaimo, nothing like a good country song to put stuff into perspective now is there?

I plugged Jo Dee Messina into the CD player…love it. There is an awesome Mustang tune on there that I forgot all about…It’s called Too late to worry now…

I haven’t listened to it for years, I am really music challenged right now so I went and dug up some oldies…I am thinking I need to get the newer one she has put out too, great album, good summer tunes. It makes me feel like spring is here and summertime is coming!!!

When we got back to Campbell River, we had just come through a bit of a rain storm, the car was pretty dirty at this point, I am to lazy to drag everything out to wash the car when I get home, so I decide it’s time…

Today was also Jezebelle’s first EVER car wash. I don’t even usually USE water to wash her. She is a fairweather baby and doesn’t usually get dirty.

Well this weekend she did.

So we went to the hand wand carwash and got all the debris off of the sides and the bottom of the car.

Next week comes the wax…it’s time.

I have some detailing to do on her. The valve covers got a little bit screwed up in the Daddy incident, and it has been too long since I took a day and worked on stuff, last year I neglected her a little, so this year I make up for it…no more bad Mustang Mommy…I am full on back in!!

No more slacking off, no more excuses. Canadian Mustang here I come!! Paypal will be smoking by the end of the summer.

So all in all it was a great weekend, whirlwind, but fun…

A sign of the summer yet to come!!

Now if only people would learn how to drive…