Ok, there were no Heffalumps and Woozles…but by the end of the day, it totally wouldn’t have surprised me at all. Seriously.
I totally understand the look that Eeyore has on his face here. Totally.
I woke up to the wind blowing about 70 kms an hour, I am not sure that was exactly how fast it was at that moment, but we had gusts of wind today got up to 90 km an hour. That is pretty damn hard.
I actually got up out of bed at 7:15 and drove my kid to the bus. Now remember here, I am an unsympathetic mother when it comes to my kid walking to the bus. It is part of the very little exercise his 16 year old body gets, and he doesn’t melt, but today…ya, even I am not that mean. It was awful out, and raining upside down.
I got back home, made myself a big pot of coffee and promptly lit my fire. With four of the last 10 pieces of wood left in my garage.
Shit. That meant that I had to bring wood in from outside.
Usually it is Colton’s job, and I would not have a fire in the middle of the day. He brings it in after school…dammit.
It was a problem I would worry about after my coffee, I had enough to get me through the morning.
So my big plan today was to make soap. I have a couple of orders to fill and no time to do them, it was a perfect day for it!
Well all good, except that right in the middle of making the soap, the power flickered continually, luckily it never went out all day, which was actually amazing considering.
So as my day normally goes, I kind of flit around and do ten different things…at one point I realized I hadn’t made my bed yet or opened my bedroom curtains, which didn’t really matter as it was dark as a witches butt out there anyway.
I opened them.
When I did, I briefly looked out like always and realized something was a little out of place.
Ok. That is totally wrong. Something was VERY out of place…like my hedge.
I am totally thankful that the Universe is listening to me when I ask for stuff. I know I have probably put out there that I would like a dryer yard and maybe more firewood.
A few more trees came down after I ventured out and took this shot, it was screaming when I was out there in my Sorel’s, puffy purple winter coat and my pajamas. It really is amazing the neighbours haven’t called the cops on me yet.
Or the looney bin.
Or the cops to take me to the looney bin.
So I get back in the house, ready to carry on with the soap making…when for some reason, I look out my kitchen window, and notice this on my garage roof…
I know it’s blurry, but give me a flipping break here ok…there is a lake on my garage roof, and my Mustang is underneath there.
I have two lame little drains in the roof on the garage, and only one of them drains. Well except at this moment.
Downstairs I go to get my soaking wet purple jacket and boots, I am going to have to go back out.
I wade across the three inches of water on the roof, which I am sure isn’t a good thing structurally speaking, and unplug the drain.
Did I mention that I have to climb out a window to get out there…
Once I have unplugged the drain there is total chaos on the ground, obviously the two inch wussy ass pipe that goes down the the downspout wasn’t built to take a torrential flood of water, and I sort of have it mickey moused to the drain for the summer, in the winter I have it draining out into the yard. I obviously have NOT done that yet.
I then have to get off the roof, without destroying my dining room on the way back in through the window with my soaking wet boots and bad attitude and run through my house, down to the basement and outside to fix the drain on the ground.
You see, the thing about mickey mousing shit together, is that you forget you did it that way in 7 months when it is pouring rain and blowing 90 kms an hour.
So as I was trying to adjust the drain pipe, it moved down a bit and…fell right off.
So there is a vision right? You get where this is going huh?
Ya…I got wet.
Just try putting a drain pipe that is seriously two inches in diameter back on to a drain that is puking gallons of water down on you while the wind is blowing 90 kms an hour. I double dog dare ya.
And stop fucking laughing.
Ok so I get everything back together, of course the drain into the ground is still not taking the water as fast as it is coming down, but there is absolutely nothing I can do about that at this point…my super powers are pretty much tapped out.
So while I am outside, I realize it is nearly time for my dog to go outside…he has been fighting me for hours. You know it’s bad when your dog will NOT leave the porch to pee.
Well I was geared up and he was going.
He still isn’t talking to me.
I also realize, that I have no more wood…
Well I was already wet, I changed out of my lovely purple coat put on the wood coat and got the job done, with no drama other than the fact that the wind has torn the shit out of my tarp that resides over my outside woodpile and I am now carrying in muddy soaked wood…it was muddy when we brought it home, if you missed it, you can read about that on the gong show page.
All in all, I am freaking exhausted, it is now 11:00 at night, I have made 40 bars of soap, done maybe 5 rows of crocheting, drained a roof, done a wood workout, reported on storm damage, had an outdoor shower, made an amazing dinner of beef stroganoff (at least it was from scratch, don’t judge me) and managed to piss off man’s best friend enough that he will leave me alone until morning.
You can’t say I am ever bored can you?
Oh, and I am prepped for tomorrow’s Vlog…that’s right folks, I am conquering my fear of public speaking. I am going to start doing “how to” vlogs…you are my victims.
I promise if you participate with the shenanigans there will be a blooper blog at the end of it. Or money. We will see.
Probably not money…just saying.
Goodnight my friends :)