I am not going to whine…I promise. I mean I want to, but I won’t. Today was just one of those days, you know what I mean? It’s Christmas, and everyone seems to be a couple.
I know I am not alone, and that should make me feel less pathetic I suppose, but it doesn’t.
Most days I am good. There are moments but mostly I am good.
I am happy, I am healthy, I am blessed. All stuff I know.
But I am lonely.
I miss having someone to hug. Someone to share the little things only two people in love share with each other, the knowing looks, the smile, the happiness.
Now I am pretty sure I won’t be alone forever, I think…
I look around me and there are all kinds of people that find people to love and to love them back. On a less pathetic day, I know it will happen again one day. I also know I need to stop thinking about it, and just be happy the way I am.
But I suck at lonely.
So I am spewing it to you. I haven’t been blogging that much this week, that probably hasn’t helped me. When I isolate myself it only makes it worse.
In just over a week I will have a baby to love, my family to keep me busy, and Christmas will be here.
Tomorrow, I will be fine…I know this will pass.
But for today, just for right now, I am feeling the lonely…it helps me know I am alive and that I am still kicking.
And a little self pity never killed anyone that I know of. I am going to catch up on your blogs, spread some love around and maybe eat the box of chocolate that is under my tree and supposed to be opened on Christmas. I have a couple of glasses of Champagne left in the fridge too, so I am going to put on my jammies, snuggle up on my couch and be the pathetic lonely girl that I am feeling like.
Cause I can.
And it’s ok to feel a little left out, lonely and pathetic once and a while. I know that even in relationship you can feel that way. I know I have.
And seriously…there is no one here to tell me that putting my pajama’s on at 5 at night and eating a whole box of chocolate to myself is a bad idea, is there???
It’s gotta be all good, well for now anyways :)
So off I go to read about your weekend adventures!!
I feel better already.
Happy Monday Peeps…xoxoxo