The Redneck Princess

There is kick ass stuff to come…

There is kick ass stuff to come…

I promise. I really will be kicking some ass.

But for today, I will remain calm, cool and collected.

I will be the centered and loving girl you all know and love.

It’s really who I am, when I am not ranting and trying to make everything make sense in this crazy fucked up complicated life.

I am regrouping, rethinking and getting all my chakras back in line again. That can sometimes take a couple of days with me, especially when they are all askew and upside backwards. Trust me, they are. Or were.

It’s funny how I have taken months to get myself back to good, to a place where for the first time in my life, I can actually look at myself in the mirror and say out loud, “I love you, just the way you are, with all your flaws, your insecurities and with all your life experiences”… it seriously is a place I have never been before. And how in a matter of weeks I again look in the mirror and nearly question it.

I nearly go backwards.

Nearly.

Today, I said it out loud again, twice. And I meant it. I really meant it.

No one will ever take that power away from me again. Whether they realize they are doing it or not…the main thing is I know it. I feel it. I feel myself falling back down to that place with no control, no love, no self preservation. So on went the brakes.

I meditate, try not to over think…talk it out, and in a couple of days, it’s all clear. The excuses, the stories, the making it seem like something it’s not… is all a lie. One I refuse to live.

I have a truth…I know what that truth is. No one can take that from me.

Healing is a slow process, there always seems to be unexpected bumps and twists that you never see coming. Once and while I guess you have to expect that you may fall back a step. I might have for a bit,  just for a day or two. I am ok now though. I made it over one more hurdle, up one more step.

Tomorrow is a new day, with new adventures, new friends and maybe new love…or maybe not :)

Either way, it’s all good, cause I am back up, shaking off the dirt, and moving on…

 

14 thoughts on “There is kick ass stuff to come…

  1. Roger

    Donna, you are a strong person that has a good heart. Be yourself and leave the negative people to bother someone else. A person not repecting you is not worthy of your time.Hope this life bump is short.
    Roger
    I have been reading different books and found this Confucis saying.
    Smooth words and fawning looks are seldom found with love.

  2. Gwen

    Just breathe.
    In with the good, out with the bad. Ahhhhhhh
    Dan, SDL, always says it best. You are awesome!

  3. The Redneck Princess

    I want each and every one of you to know how much your love, support and comments touch my soul and how much they mean to me. Thank you for being amazing to me. Thank you for making me smile. Richard…I barely know you, but you always move me with your heartfelt comments. Thank you for that.

  4. mo

    I hear you there. It is a very long process but the journey is such a pleasure when one recognizes and acts on what they in the past would have taken way more than they every deserved. Time to break out the candles and cake and have yourself a “celebrate.”

  5. Brenda

    Ut oh, you having man probs? Don’t let the bastards get to you. You are a beautiful person and don’t believe otherwise. Come on D! You’re stronger than that! Don’t let them take your energy! I luvs ya girl! Muwah! xoxo

  6. Rose

    You are awesome,strong, brilliant and beautiful. You inspire me in so many ways, and I am thankful that I found your blog.

    Have a great day!

  7. Richard Wiseman

    If I was you I’d back track through the comments you get for your blogs and see just how many people think you are brilliant. From what I’ve read I can’t imagine why you would find it hard at any time to look in the mirror and feel good about yourself. After all you’ve been through and not only come out stronger and wiser I’d say you were a formidable human being. Still, if there are times when you feel insecure and as you say healing takes time, then the trick would be not to be hard on yourself for getting down. I mean if you were your own child would you be hard on that child if they were feeling insecure? When our kids are little and afraid or feeling insecure we hug them and reassure them. We’re often nicer to everyone else than we are to ourselves. Hug yourself and say nice things when you feel unhappy and insecure, it’s what you’d do for your children why not yourself? I still do the ‘mirror exercise’ that my last therapist gave me to do even though it was some time ago and I don’t need to any more. The mirror is here in the office. I look into it and say nice things to myself, smile at myself. It’s how I got to like myself after having spent a lot of my life with a deep seated sense of insecurity and dislike of myself. Anyway prayers going out to you as I type and finally, can you youtube any film that might get taken of you ‘kicking ass’ because I reckon that you’re not someone to ‘mess with’ and anyone whose ass you kick deserves it; so it would make all of us feel good to see you ‘shred’ an individual deserving of an ass kicking!

  8. pip

    “I love you, just the way you are, with all your flaws, your insecurities and with all your life experiences”

    I think this is a lesson we should all learn. Good for your RNP