The Redneck Princess

Bite me menopause…

Bite me menopause…

That’s right…and you can bite hard.

It might not even be menopause. It could be spring, or my lack of self confidence or straight out PMS.

Who knows.

I just know that today, I am blaming menopause.

See, I am feeling the need for a change.

I don’t mean a big life change. I mean a ME change.

I do this. Ask my Mom…she has seen it all. The hair changes, the growing tattoos, the total makeovers…the good and the bad of the combined efforts. She hears about it no matter what happens.

By the way…I love you Mom. Just so you know. You are the best Mom ever, and trust me…I have checked around.

Seriously.

But back to the menopause thing…or as I call her…

The Bitch.

It is times like this, when I cut all my hair off…or get something I shouldn’t pierced.

So far all that has come of it is a new bra. Some socks. And a pink t-shirt.

Bruce says the t-shirt is totally not me.

I know right? It’s fucking pink. I still like it. I am wearing it tomorrow. Thank you Superstore and your $4 t-shirts.

And the socks are cool, they are ankle socks…which I never buy, and I have no idea why not cause they are gonna make me throw all my other lame socks in the  garbage.

And the bra…well I am thinking without is working better for me right now. I know. I am 47.

I can still pull it off.

Even if I am not 17 anymore.

I haven’t even shown it to Bruce, the bra I mean…. He thinks push up bras are hilarious for some reason. Could be cause he knows what is really in the t-shirt, and it ain’t no 34 DD…

Not  that I could pull that off…

Like ever.

I have also gone back to blonde. The dark hair was fun while it lasted over the winter, but it isn’t really me. I am done with it. The blonde in me always wins in the end.

And god knows I can make that work to my benefit on a regular day with no effort at ALL.

So far my hair is safe. I have moments. They pass. I got my bangs cut. That seems to have appeased me for now.

Good thing too, because that I will totally regret. I always do. My hair is like my security blanket. When all else fails, I have big hair.

Take that Menopause.

I think.

If any of you have any suggestions how to make it through this shit with your sanity, let me know.

So far I have come up with Vodka.

Seems to be working…

Well tonight it is anyways.

I am away from scissors, or hair dye, or tattoo machines.  So we will be fine til tomorrow.

I kinda feel a new purse coming on though. Or maybe some new flip flops…

After all, we are supposed to hit 20 degrees Celsius on Monday.

And I am two minutes away from Value Village…and tomorrow is my Saturday.

Talk me through it girls…

talk me through it.

 

19 thoughts on “Bite me menopause…

  1. Doris

    Hey!

    I think music always helps, so whatever you feel-take it to a song, or a good movie :)
    also, check out my blog, maybe it will cheer you up when you need it.

    *hugs*
    Doris

  2. s

    Don’t cut it too short if you do cut it. And make sure the tat is something you can live with when you look down and see it at 85 when all your toes are half in the bucket.

    I’m in the midst of my BIATCH too. Wtf is it with these flashes….and why do the ex’s start calling me? I mean, wtf? Oh yeah! It’s Spring! Sorry boys, you are my ex for a reason. There’s something wrong with you!

    Black Cohash and Soy for me…and tons of great sex with my current BF who happens to ave never left his prime. Sharing the journey isn’t so bad after all!

  3. DrM

    Remifemin. Its herbal and it works…and good vitamins
    Coffee. And good sex works well too :)

  4. Mom

    I just sell something when I go thru those menopause blues, makes me feel better ever time, or if I can’t sell something I buy it, either way it works, but only temporary, it just sucks to be a woman, so you get thru it every day, one day at a time. You are not alone. love you too.

  5. Gwen

    When all else fails, SHOP!
    Shoes usually work best they never make you look fat.
    LOL

      1. Grace Becker

        That is a really good idea Gwen. I am gonna do that sometime just to drive away the mood swings that sometimes makes me keep away people who care about me from being so close to me.