What the hell is wrong with people?

What the hell is wrong with people?

Have I had a blog with that title before??? Maybe, but once again I am amazed with the things that people will do in public.

It is actually a little terrifying when you consider that if they do bizarre stuff out in the open where people can witness it, what do they do in private when no one does?

This time, I am talking about Elder or Parental abuse.

I adore my parents, so I have absolutely no way to fathom how people can do this, that and the fact that both my parents would slap me upside the head if I ever came ANYWHERE near being abusive to them, but I have now seen it with my own eyes and I know it happens.

Now I am pretty sure that the situation I am talking about is dysfunctional on all sides. It is also a bit more frightening to me personally than just watching the abuse. I fear that this person is in fact a bit off the edge. It is not someone that I deal with on a regular basis, and actually have been lucky enough not to have any interaction with for a couple of years now, until the other day.

But I am not going to lie, I think that it would be fairly easy to suddenly become this persons target. Which I would prefer to avoid.

So hoping they are computer illiterate is high up there.

Just saying.

So how does a situation like this get to that point?

I would think that the parents would be abusive in the beginning right? I mean you don’t just learn that behavior for no reason, it has to come from somewhere, which of course doesn’t excuse it in any way, but explains it.

I was totally at a loss of what to do in the said situation. Like I said, I fear for my own safety, and all I wanted was to not be in this persons presence. The Mother gives me the same vibe, but I seriously felt for the father. Now these people are old…like in their late 80’s old. She was still driving and obviously shouldn’t be.

There was button pushing on both the Mothers part and the sons, though the son was just outright mean to her on every level with every word.

I have been in a verbally abusive relationship before, I know how it works. I know the feeling of being beaten down so low that you feel like you are worth nothing, even when you know it isn’t true, unfortunately that gets harder and harder to believe when you hear how useless you are over and over again.

You feel like you are responsible when you are not. Because the abuser makes you question yourself, makes you wonder if maybe it really is you…

I don’t have any idea what these peoples lives are like…but I know that for the 1/2 an hour that they were in my presence, I felt that again. I felt that shame, that fear, that ache in my stomach. I just wanted to run.

Getting involved doesn’t seem like an option to me. There is no way that would end well on any level. I just wonder what does one do when you know that there is something like this going on?  How do you make a difference, without bringing yourself into the unhealthy and possibly dangerous situation?

It has effected me since it happened yesterday. I have tried to not think about it…tried to turn it off. It’s not my business or my place to judge right?

But my gut tells me someone is unsafe, which makes me uneasy, which makes me feel responsible because I KNOW about it. Even though I don’t know the full depth of the situation.

There is also no way that this is a secret, other people MUST know.  I mean I think there must be some kind of outside care involved. I know that the family doctor has to be aware of some of this, due to a conversation that the son started with me.  Isn’t he obliged in some way to do something?

I  can’t report it, without names and more information than I have. I can’t find any real resources to help or that tells what you should do, it seems to me that you have to be fairly close to the situation to get involved. Which I am not, nor do I intend to be.

It has made me think. It has made me thankful that I have a family that loves each other. It has made me afraid. It has made me want to make a difference. It has made me feel helpless. It has mostly made me sad.

Please people, be nice to each other. Love each other…what the hell is wrong with our society that it is ok to be an asshole?? In public?? To your Mother?? To anyone at all??

Life is just too short…


2 thoughts on “What the hell is wrong with people?

  1. Sharon Sanford

    Well written, Donna. this struck a note with me. Not because my son’s are abuse…they are not. Not because my parents are abused…they are not. But the statement about listening to someone tell you you you are not worthy…even if those actual words are not spoken, feeling the angst constantly, feeling the ‘rock’ in the pick of your stomach, taking down every mirror in your home (…yes, I actually did that)so you don’t have to look at yourself because you would cry every time you came face to face with your image. My ex had a way of making me feel this way…problem was it seemed so come so natural for him he didn’t even know he was doing it. He just thought “I” was ‘broken’
    I thank you for this article as this is a terrible thing for anyone and especially for your own children to do this to you. How helpless you must feel. I think in this situation where you fear for your safety, I would wait several weeks or a month and then report the situation to human resources. By that time the abuser will have had so many other contacts that he will not realize/think that it was you doing the reporting and human resources are not allowed to reveal their source. If nothing else it will make the abuse aware that he is doing it and that it is NOT acceptable on any level. Good luck hun.

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