I’m just not ready….

I’m just not ready….

For it to be over yet.

I feel like I haven’t participated enough. Or maybe its just that I didn’t feel it as wholeheartedly as I have before.

It’s Christmas eve eve…

I miss my parents and my brother and his family. I wish we were all together.

I know that isn’t always doable…it wasn’t this year.

I will be home with my kids and Bruce and on boxing day his daughter too…and some of my besties are near.

For that I am  really so thankful, but I am still not quite ready for it all to end.

Maybe it’s the thought of January and it’s grey dullness. The sadness we have when all the festivities end and no one has any money left.

Or is that just me?

Maybe it’s the fact that it’s my birthday too…and I am just not ready to give up another year…though I do get cake.

This year…I might eat cake for dinner. I might have a super big piece that I will surely regret.

I might even have two.

I always do birthday celebrating on Christmas eve.

It’s better that way, otherwise the cake interferes with the pie on Christmas night.

I am only little…I can’t eat pie AND cake.

Well I actually probably could… I just choose not to wreck one experience with the other.

And there is absolutely nothing adult about that rationalization…nothing at all.

It is just a way for me to have my cake and eat turkey and pie too.

Just because I am almost 48…doesn’t mean I am going to act it…

I have two more days to savor my birthday week and tomorrow I get presents. Well I think I do anyway. It’s part of the goodness of being born Christmas day.

So to all of my friends, old and new…I would like to wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Hugs and love to you all :)

6 thoughts on “I’m just not ready….

  1. territerri

    Oh, I know that January grey, dull, blah-ness. I hate it. After a month of planning and preparing and waiting… it’s suddenly all over with nothing but the prospect of cold and dark days for a couple more months.

    Enjoy your birthday. Don’t grow up. It’s overrated. And people who don’t act their age are WAY more fun than those who do.

    Happy Birthday! Happy New Year!

  2. granny1947

    Hi There My Friend.
    Have a wonderful birthday and eat all the cake you want.
    You can regret it later.
    I know just how you feel.
    None of my kids or grandkids…I just don’t have the Christmas feeling.
    Anyway, enjoy what you have.
    Lots and lots of love.

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