The Redneck Princess

I’m hooped…

I’m hooped…

Ok, so I am on the road to a better me. I am eating good food. I am counting calories. I know right!!! What the hell is going on with me? I have never given a rat’s ass about how many calories are going down the gullet.

Apparently when you hit your late forties that is a bad attitude. Who knew?

So for the last few days, I have buckled down…I have downloaded apps. I don’t drink enough water, ever. Now for the second day in a row, I have drank 64 oz. It’s like a job. Seriously. But there is an app for that.

I have an Android smart phone and this app rocks, it reminds me to drink. Yay!!! I need all the help I can get…it’s called Water Coach by woojabooty. Awesome. So until it just comes naturally to me to drink a keg of water a day, this tells me to.

The calorie counter hasn’t been quite as easy, I had what I thought was an awesome one, the interface was fab…but my phone was freezing like three times a day after I downloaded it. So uninstalled it was.

The one I am using now is ok, it has some features that seem cool but of course you have to pay for them, and I am too cheap. It does the basic job though…it is called Calorie Counter-Shape up club.

The other excitement for me…

Well not really, because I freaking hate. hate. hate. working out…

but guess what? I am. Working out.

I found this great ass kicker on Pinterest.

It’s Wednesday, and I just started on Monday, but whatever…

The other epiphany I had…since I have been meditating again…I get them more frequently, be very very afraid…

Is that I need a hula hoop. My bestie Phyllis got an awesome one for her daughter from this girl….her name is Jenny. Follow her on Facebook, she is a sweetie. She teaches classes that I am seriously considering going to. The girls I work with and I discussed it a few years ago and then never went. Maybe this year?

So I was looking all over town for a hula hoop, so I could practice, and not go to a class and look like a total moron. I would have too. Looked like a moron.

I only know this because I have been watching myself in the mirror. But we will get back to that in a bit…because I still didn’t have a hula hoop. And the lovely Jenny does custom ones, and I am impatient.

While Bruce was in Home Hardware, I had this crazy thought…I could MAKE one. It had to be easy. I ran into the store and sure enough, there is 3/4″ Pex pipe or water line…and a connector, it’s not pretty yet, because I haven’t decorated it, though there are instructions for that at this great site called Gleeful Things.

I am too impatient to decorate, and I haven’t got any cool tape, so I just decided to try it. Undecorated.

So I was watching my self in the mirror with my new hoop. I know. Really? Well…yes. Because as anyone does when they are learning anything new, I youtubed it. And this chick told me it would be better if I watched myself.

Now what I want to know is, for whom exactly is this supposed to be better for? I wish I hadn’t seen it personally. I am actually a little terrified that my dancing skills are as lame as my Hula hoops skills are, and I have just never noticed because of oh I don’t know…alcohol maybe?

So then this crazy hula chick tells me that I have to move around, while the hula hoop is still spinning…like step. Forward. Backwards. Ok now stop and make the hoop go the other way.

I am flailing after step. Seriously.

I am mortified that

a) I am witnessing it.

b) That I can’t seem to stop doing it.

c) That my blinds are open and other people might have seen it too.

And then when it comes to making it go the other way. Well let’s just say it went. But not the way it was supposed to.

I can make it go around to the left…like awesome, well maybe not awesome but it isn’t horrible. Making it go to the right, was horrible.

I don’t have that kind of coordination, seriously…and then you expect me to move the fuck around too? Well I don’t know who you think you are kidding, but it doesn’t look good.

So I made the decision to tackle one small thing at a time, because I think that this chick in the video below is probably the coolest girl I have ever seen, and if I met her, I would want to kiss her. Just because of her sheer awesomeness.

I on the other hand, am not that awesome. Like not even close.

But I can spin a hoop and I did it for half an hour today, mixed in with some weights and some crazy assed hoop ballet moves. Don’t ask, it didn’t get any better at that point, trust me.

And I am nearly 100% positive that being that energetic all in one go, is going to be something that I regret very, very much tomorrow.

I am ready for it. I know that you don’t get anywhere at all if you don’t suffer a little bit.

Or a lot.

Whichever the case may be, I will let you know tomorrow. It can only get prettier right? And classes don’t start for a few weeks. I have time to make that hoop my bitch even going to the right.

And I am smiling. That’s half the battle right there…

Have a great Thursday luvvies…xo

8 thoughts on “I’m hooped…

  1. stephnie

    I totally feel ya on the hoola hoop! One Easter, my sister n law, and I got out there, and tried it! It was hilarious! Thank God there was no mirror! Good luck!

  2. DrMim

    Totally real to me…:) I have been calorie counting for 12 months in Feb. With time off for good behaviour at Xmas. It is also about NUTRITION for me…dang it. Prior if I’d stayed within my calories and my entire days was chocolate and chips…well done me. :P But not anymore. Vitamin D, all the B’s, magnesium and calcium are also my new friends…every morning. 80 minutes of walking four times a week and I’m down about 40 pounds, but MAN its not easy. I think about how when I was young and you don’t appreciate the kick ass body you have or its ability to digest and absorb everything you toss in it and at it :)

    BANZAI Ms D :)

    Mim