Have you ever thought about some or all of the ways your life could be totally different?
I am not thinking about these things because I am unhappy with the way that things really are. I am very happy with the life I have, with all the love I have in it and for everything going the way that it goes.
I have said repeatedly that I am blessed, and I mean it…I am in so many ways.
I am just talking, wondering, thinking about the fact that at any point in our lives if we had made one little decision differently, how it could have all changed.
I think about when I lived in the city right after I got out of school, how different this little country girl would be if I had just made a different turn at the beginning of the road.
I guess it is true that you can take the girl out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the girl.
I was born in a small town, and really that is what I love, when chips are down…it’s what I go back to and where I want to be.
I love being connected to people that you see around town, not that you don’t have that in the city, it is just different.
Some days I envy the city girls with their perfect french manicured nails, with their nice clothes and high heeled shoes. Some days…I could be that girl happily. For about an hour.
Then I would either break a nail, fall off a shoe or spill coffee on my designer shirt, more likely…all three.
Sometimes I think living in a city with no yard to mow, no animals to clean up after, no truck to break down, might be okay. I think that maybe it would just be different, but not so bad.
I wouldn’t miss the trees and the gardens…the fresh vegetables that I can grow and pick myself. I wouldn’t miss sitting out on my porch at night watching the hummingbirds fight over the food. Not much anyway.
Fresh air coming in the window at night when you sleep is pretty overrated right? I mean I am not even sure why I like that, never mind missing it at all.
The shopping in a city is killer, you can maybe make more friends with all the people around and being inside a lot wouldn’t be all that bad. Just different.
Walking on a treadmill to get exercise, in a room full of people 1/3 your age instead of walking on a trail outside when you could maybe get eaten by a bear, no contest right?
I probably wouldn’t have as many wrinkles from working so hard outside in the sun, my hands wouldn’t be weathered and my nails wouldn’t be so short. I am pretty sure my favorite piece of clothing wouldn’t be a wife beater t-shirt. With some flannel pajamas.
I might be jet-setting around, I might work out of town…I might not miss having a house of my own, at least not so much when things just break down.
I wouldn’t care about caterpillars eating my fruit trees or slugs on my kale. Or whether or not someone could come and steal my mail.
Changing oil in a Mustang, or pulling the weeds, all stuff you would just think of in passing. There are people for that in the city. You don’t do it on your own.
The beach is okay with a million other people, sand in your face is really no big deal. It just can’t compare to a campsite all alone in the woods, with an outhouse, that you don’t have to share…just add flowers.
On the days when I think I am missing something, when I think that maybe living somewhere else would be better, when I am not sure the path I am on was the right one after all…I think about the other life I might have had. I think about all the things I don’t have, that I really don’t know how to miss.
I think about the life I have now and about how much I laugh, how dirty I get, how good I feel when our yard is beautiful, how awesome it is when our dogs run as fast as they can in circles around the yard.
I know how right it feels to sleep in a tent, to play in the bush…to have a job where people come in and really want to get to know you…where your fellow employees become your best friends.
I know the awesome involved in eating dinner at ten because you had too much to do out in the yard, and just couldn’t tear yourself away for something as silly as food.
This is my world, my reality, my happiness. It’s a life that other people dream of, and wish they could know. It’s a life some people probably can’t even fathom.
It’s dirty, it’s funny…and it’s mine.