When spam and piss run amok…

When spam and piss run amok…

I have spam issues. I was deleting my spam tonight, which I try to do frequently and I totally deleted Ash’s comment. I saw it as it was spiraling down the drain of no return, to spam land.

Usually I am a little more observant, I would have totally checked it all through, tonight I was being lazy, checked about 5 and then hit the button of no return.

So Ash, I apologize. For spamming you. For missing whatever awesome comment you made.

Next up;

My quote of the day, believe it or not came from the Young and the Restless.

Yes…I do watch it everyday.

“My love won’t save you, I am not the one that can save you…you have to save yourself.”

Truer words have never been spoken.

And then there is the piss story. Ash please don’t hate me and never come back because I talked about piss in the same post as I talked about you. The two of you have absolutely zero in common. Except you were both on my mind today. Obviously I am totally thankful that I had you to think about rather than the piss.

I will start at the beginning.

Bruce’s dog Bailey, is a spoiled brat. She is a great dog, seriously one of the best I have ever had. Sometimes she is not very smart, but she is definitely stubborn and she always loves you with no boundaries and with all of her heart.


Which is what started the piss.

See, Bruce has always taken her everywhere with him, he has never left her at home alone. Over the last year and a half, I have influenced the fact that the dog, can indeed stay at home once and a while, and ride in the BACK of the pickup, like a real lab.

I am a cow. Yes.

She is a dog. Yes.

So anyway, Bruce has been working temporarily in Courtaney and has not been able to take Boo with him, I work too, so she is at home alone. Well not really alone, but she is in the garage on her comfy bed…while Odie and the brat Lola are locked in the basement.

Now, at first…like the first time we left her home alone. She ate a whole loaf of white bread off the counter at Bruce’s place. I am sure that was punishment enough in the end. But dude??? Really???

The deal that happens at my place, which is where we now all reside :) is that she pisses. On the carpet downstairs. This is because the obnoxious Doberman that I once had pissed down there. She smells her, it’s not ok. And occasionally when Colton can’t pull himself away from the damn gaming, his wee dog Odie will crap down there. Nice. Right?

So Bailey decided the other day, that since Bruce had left her behind and I was still in bed, she might as well take a leak on the way upstairs, on said carpet.

As in fuck you Dad.

I have to say, I am pretty done with cleaning up puke, shit, and piss at this point. All of it animal related.

I decide, that I can’t  stand to smell the piss for one more day. I have used every single thing imaginable to get the smell out. I can’t.

It’s time for the big dog. I spent nearly $70 to rent a steam cleaner, and away I went.

I spent almost all of my Friday last week shampooing the bitch out of that carpet.

The other thing I changed was the kind of cat litter I use. I usually use wood pellets, which work awesome as cat litter, but they have a smell that I can live without, and since I am trying to get rid of bad smells it was a no brainer. Or so I thought.

The cat…who has never had normal litter before, was obsessed. With scratching and throwing the litter about 5 feet across the room.

Are you kidding me here?

I find a big cardboard box. I put litter box inside of it. Bonus, it serves two purposes…it keeps her from flinging the litter everywhere, and keeps the wee dog Odie out of said box. He seems to adore cat shit. Nice.

A day goes by…

I go downstairs and now…all I can smell is cat piss.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I have since spent the last two days trying to figure out what the hell she has pissed on, does she hate her new litter?? Is she pissing randomly??

The answer to everything is no.

There is use in the litter box, she is not going anywhere else. I have even  moved the wood box outside, thinking she peed in there, I have washed the floors, washed every single piece of everything it could be, I even went and bought the really expensive pellets meant for animal beds to use as litter  instead of the wood pellets, and I chucked out the other cat litter.

And still.

That smell.

So tonight, out of sheer desperation, I sprinkle baking soda onto the supposedly clean and piss.off’ed carpet.

And while I was doing that. I am thoroughly convinced that I was blaming the cat needlessly.

It wasn’t her at all. It is the carpet.

The stuff I used after I shampooed the carpet, that supposedly gets rid of the smell of urine…is an enzyme and takes approximately 7 days to work, we are only on day 5. It better hurry up. Because I am ready to just move out, no notice or anything. I am sick to death of that smell.

I am also now dog Hitler.

There are pee breaks constantly, and no one is allowed downstairs unattended. Thank god for baby gates.

Who knew having three animals was going to be more work that three kids would ever be?

And stinkier.

Stinkier than all the boys put together.

And please don’t judge me. Or come over to visit.

Not until I get this all straightened out.

Happy Hump day loves xoxo

4 thoughts on “When spam and piss run amok…

  1. spilledinkguy

    Ugh! I know the feeling! Although I’ve encountered more hairballs than pee. But they can be pretty gross in their own right. Especially if you are not expecting them. And it’s dark. And you find them with your feet on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. GOOOooo!

  2. ash

    Oh wow, babe, I had the worst day today…thought nothing could make me smile until I crawled into bed and opened my laptop :). Bahahaha. Thankyou. Not only did you spam my most awesome comment, I was also one of the people that clicked to nowhere a couple of times from your facebook site :P.

    Re the pee, OMG I am struggling with the same thing…have this stupid dog…when he’s outside he jumps (tunnels under, tries to crash through) the fence and runs around like an idiot. When he’s inside he pees… So. So. Over it.

    I feel your pain, I have 2 dogs and a cat too xoxox

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