The Redneck Princess

When the walls come tumblin’ down…

When the walls come tumblin’ down…

When the walls come tumblin’ down…

I don’t know if you all remember the story about the Italian neighbours and their barking from hell dogs…if you need a refresher, click here.

Now I have tried to be patient, I mean it has been years. I have endlessly listened to the barking dogs, with their insane high pitched barking. I have mostly kept it together…when constantly the dogs bark at everything, even when there is nothing at all to bark at.

I have watched these people sit in the yard right next to said dogs and do nothing to make them stop.

I can’t tell you how much I look forward to September when they finally leave to go back to Italy, taking their imported noise with them.

Every spring when they arrive, I hope it will be different, I hope they forgot to pack the dogs, I hope things have turned around.

Every year I am sadly disappointed.

This year, it looked like there might be some hope, they took down the wee useless picket fence and started building a new one.

So much for our river view, it is now gone. The “Wall of Italy” has been erected.

I could almost let that slide as long as I don’t have my summer invaded by the barking of obnoxious dogs.

It took them about 5 days to build the fence. They did it themselves.

italian fence

It is as ugly as fuck.

And what the hell is going on with the posts? They started cutting the tops off of the posts, which incidentally they just attached to the old tiny and probably rotten posts from the other fence…this will totally be amusing when we get a good winter wind and they are in Italy…and then they got bored or something and just didn’t finish cutting the tops off. They decided they may as well put the toppers on with the posts all different heights. Why make effort right?

Let’s just piss every neighbor off around them. My next door neighbor on the left, has had his river view, which was way better than mine annihilated. He is pissed.

And look at what I see every time I leave my driveway…

bad fencing

I am pissed.

What exactly were they thinking here? If they has just kept going straight across it would have worked out. There was absolutely no reason to raise it up. And WHAT? I am no carpenter, I just live with one, but even I can tell that is the most ridiculous move ever, and own a level much? Apparently not.

And what the hell is up with this baby little flag on a stick? That is just my own wondering…I might just miss the point, all I know is it makes me want to big one big HUMONGOUS flag, and hang it somewhere blatant. WE ARE CANADIAN. It means having respect for the people around you.

fishing house mini canada flag

I might be a little bit frustrated…from all the barking. I am not usually so judgmental. But really?

They also made the neighbors beside them (I am acquaintances with the wife) build a fence on their side, and when they did he was interrupting the construction constantly, eventually enough the husband got pissed and put him in his place.

So now you have all three of your neighbors pissed at you.

And the “Wall of Italy” has changed absolutely NOTHING…the dogs seem to still be tied up to the tree, and they are barking exactly the same amount as they were barking before the crooked wall was built.

So last week, after hours of barking…Bruce went over there, to talk to the guy and ask him to do something about the dogs. Said Italian is sitting outside next to the barking dogs, sees Bruce and beelines it around the corner and into the house.

Bruce was mad.

The fact that the guy ran away was cowardly and what the hell ever happened to having some fucking integrity? You all know how I feel about that by now, if you have been here for more than a month.

Running away, is not going to make this better my friend. You are in Canada now, we deal with shit sugar.

I also finally have decided that enough is enough. This morning I called the Dog barking bylaw dude.

We had a good conversation. He gets me, he gets how I feel, and it’s not ok.

I love being validated when I am on the edge of the cliff and ready to jump.

He said he would go and talk to them today. I am not sure if he has or not, but I haven’t heard any barking yet.

He also didn’t leave the bark logs in my mailbox. You see…the deal is, he goes and talks to the Italians…hopefully they don’t play stupid and pretend they don’t speak English, we bloody well know they do. During said conversation, he tells them, that if they do indeed continue to let their dogs keep barking disruptively, they will be fined after due process.

Which means…

We as neighbours fill out dog logs, when they bark and for how long.

Hopefully I can get both of my other neighbors on board, I seriously don’t think it will be a hard sell…

So for now we wait, and enjoy the quiet that seems to be surrounding the neighborhood right now, short lived or not…

And here’s hoping I don’t have to go all military on their asses.

I have other paperwork to do, I am halfway to getting my funding in line for school in September, I just don’t have time for the dog barking shenanigans.

And it would be super duper if I could do my stuff in peace and quiet, without drama.

Wish me luck, whatever happens…I am probably gonna need it.

And I could use any insight or good ideas that you could throw my way.

Here are the ideas my friends have suggested so far…

Linda: Go get one of those plow horn thingy in a can and go sit outside there window and when the dog barks blow the damn thing… Payback can be a bitch

Chris: Go tell them…

Diann: You need to record it and play it for them full volume when they are snoozing…you can round up some big ass speakers.

Lucas: Would you like to borrow a gun?

Jenny: I’m tellin ya, paper airplanes over the fence… with carefully worded messages. Worked like a damn for me!!

Kassandra: Record the dogs and call them at random times, and play it back over the phone.

You guys are awesome :) and you made me smile…thanks.

So what are your suggestions??? Anything clever that I haven’t already thought of???  I would love to hear them…

Happy Thursday to you all!!

15 thoughts on “When the walls come tumblin’ down…

  1. Pingback: What To Do When Your Back Is Against The Wall | HoaiPhai

  2. mjnightingale

    I have the same neighbors!!!! I complained, got their phone # and every time the dogs barked for more then 5 hours…which sometimes was until 5am…I would call them…several times in the night…I got…”Oh, I forgot they were outside”….what the fuck?!!! You can’t hear them???? So I called Dog barking dudes… took the time to do the logs and sent them in, they went to their house with their warnings….all ok on the home front….for a while….then it starts again…go over there it gets so bad and put notes up all over their fucking house….so now…ok…but we will see! and this has been going on for 3 years! So! I feel your pain girl! Goodluck!

  3. Andro

    Yes I couldn’t agree more, I have an asshole neighbour like that too :( Grrrrrrrrrrr

    Nice to see you again Princess, I am visiting you today from Tom Nardone’s neck of the woods, hey and by the way HAPPY 4th of JULY :)

    Androgoth

  4. iamtomnardone

    Princess, I am in a lot of pain tonight hearing about your trouble with these dogs.

    I think you have been civil and polite, but it seems that you have exhausted every resource at your disposal.

    If it is peace you desire, achieve it with fire. They will go back to Italy. I don’t know on what day Canadians shoot off fireworks, but that would be the perfect time for arson.

    here is the real genius of my plan. The house and fence burn to the ground revealing the river that you once so loved, the fact that fireworks are being shot off will be reason enough to assume that the fire was accidental. These people will certainly not be back. I mean who would build a house if they new the neighbors were willing to take it to that level. they might even find something next to people who love barking or are perhaps deaf. and the police department can close a case.

    I feel that I have outlined a solution that leaves nothing but winners.

    of course for the record. I would never advocate such an amazing awesome solution for anyone that involved arson

    1. The Redneck Princess Post author

      Tom…I would NEVER take that amazing advice, but it was totally amazing. I wish we hadn’t already passed by Canada day without me not doing this.

      Thanks for the laugh, you always make the insane seem…well ok :)

      Awesome…

  5. The Redneck Princess Post author

    It is at that…and like I said I have tried to avoid confrontation, but there gets a point where enough is enough…it isn’t fair to the dogs to leave them tied and barking all day and it isn’t fair to us around them having to listen to it…so, I am taking a stand and instead of bitching I am going to do something about it…hopefully it will stay peaceful…if you hear of anything happening to me, you know the story :)

  6. nan @ lbddiaries

    No suggestions since anything I’d suggest would start a war worse than you’re dealing with (you know, hamburger stuffed with sleeping pills tossed over the fence)! Any aggressive action is only going to cause an aggressive reaction. I do know it is a HORRIBLE thing to deal with!!!!!