The freedom to change…

The freedom to change…

The freedom to change…

I had a girl day this week…it was good. It was long overdue for me to have some quality girl time, with quality girls :)

I had two separate visits with two different friends, but the conversations were so spookily the same, it’s funny how we all find ourselves in the same places in life at the same time.

Today our conversations were based on our pasts. How we get thrown hard balls and need to figure out whether to catch them or get the fuck out of the way.

At this point in our lives we all agree that we have no time for dishonesty, games or people who use us. The games people play can be exhausting, the dances we dance around each other over and over again start to suck the life from you.

Why can’t people be honest and own the stupid crap they do? Why can’t people find it in themselves to reach down inside their souls and look at themselves?

Why does our society think it’s better to hide behind shields or deny the pain they feel? What’s wrong with being honest? Straight up? The real deal? Wouldn’t we all be happier without the games and deception? Why are there so few of us that call it like it is with no bullshit…

A lot of questions right? And deep shit to boot.

That is the fun part of being a girl, you get to ponder the troubles of the world, and between us, we seriously have the answers to everything. We are smart like that.

And you know we are right.

Just for a minute, humor me. Think about your life with no drama. Think about being honest all the time, of doing the things you really want to do in life, not what you think you are supposed to do. Think about what you would change to make that happen…

Would you have to change everything or nothing at all? Is there friends you would leave behind or a job you would quit? What would make you your most authentic self?

How many layers down do you figure that person is?

We all have issues, that goes without saying, why can’t we embrace who we are even with those issues and learn to live multidimensional? Why do we feel that we have to bury the bad stuff that has happened to us instead of using it to be stronger?

The truth of it is this.

We are taught to suck it up, we are taught not to make other people uncomfortable.

People don’t want to talk about the shitty stuff that happens to us, the stuff that makes us sad or changes our lives in way that we can never be the same again after it happens…they are uncomfortable to talk to you about anything that might make you cry. So it is avoided.

People want to think if they pretend it’s not there, it really isn’t. It’s a sad situation when we bury things instead of dealing with them, it changes us and makes us disappear under the layers.

At that point, you either become a victim…or a survivor.*

You get to choose.

Everyday you have the choice whether to continue on or make a change.

Our lives are crazy that way, things change in a heartbeat to the good and the bad, you just never know which way it’s going to go, or how hard that hardball is coming at you. Do you duck or try and catch it, how will your actions change the outcome?

You just never really know…but the coolest thing is that you have the power to change that outcome. Every. Single. Time.

You can change it right now, in an hour, or next week. The choice is always yours. You can always manipulate the outcome to be want you want it to be. You get to choose which of the people inside you gets to be the authentic real you. Who do you really want to be and do you have the guts it’s going to take to become that person?

Most people will choose to carry on as they are, it’s easier that way, changing is hard and sometimes really scary. Fear is the number one reason we stay stuck in our patterns, and do the same thing over and over again.

So tell me…who do you chose to be today?

*a direct quote from one of the most beautiful woman I have ever had the joy of knowing, my friend Phyllis xox

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