The Redneck Princess

So you think you can drive???

So you think you can drive???

So you think you can drive???

I have had it. This morning was  the icing on the cake of a long month of people being total assholes that don’t pay attention when they drive.

Let me elaborate…

People are assholes when they drive.

What I mean by that is that no one pays attention or seems to give a shit about what is actually going on around them outside of their vehicle.

I am nearly positive I have made this post before, the words are not new to me and seem to give me some kind of a deja vu…

BUT SERIOUSLY!!!!

This morning on my way to work I had to go through a four way stop intersection. This is not my normal route, but one that I drive often enough to know that people have no clue how to manipulate their way through the intersection and so sometimes they just drive right through it like the stop signs are a mirage…

This morning, I was the only one in the intersection, but knowing the location and having a shiny new car, I looked every way twice, I had just slowly started to go, when low and behold to my right, appears a brand new jacked up Ford doing (I kid you not) 80km an hour and he is about 15 feet from said stop sign. I slam on my brakes, because ya, he is gonna smoke the side of my car…he finally wakes up and comes to a stop in the middle of the intersection, with me looking right at him mouthing “WHAT THE FUCK”…you know what the stupid asshole did? He held up his broken arm and shook his head.

And I don’t mean that he had just broken his arm and he was on the way to the hospital to get it fixed, it was in a cast already.

How the flaming HELL does that excuse you driving like some kind of mindless idiot? Are you on drugs? Do you want me to break your other arm??? WHAT???

And he has absolutely no idea how lucky he was that I saw him and he did not hit me…because he would have been better off to have killed me than for me to get out of the car after he smoked my Mustang.

I just don’t understand what goes on with people when they drive, for real. I know that shit happens, I know that sometimes you miss stuff, accidents are sometimes unavoidable. But if you are doped up, drinking, texting your stupid girlfriend or have your dog on your lap (don’t even get me started on THAT misdemeanor) you bloody well need to be either in a cab or pulled over on the side of the road getting your shit straight. You are driving a 5000 lb death mobile people……………Pay ATTENTION!!!

And seriously, if you hit me, and I know you are doing any of the above things, and I am not yet dead. You better smash into me again and make sure I am, because when I get out of my newly smashed by you Mustang, you are going to wish I was.

Oh and one more thing…unless your windows are tinted, like to the point of nearly being illegal, stop picking your nose when you drive, we can all see you. Seriously.

Happy Driving everyone!!

 

4 thoughts on “So you think you can drive???

  1. Ev

    You did hit two nails on the head.(Thank you for NOT mentioning what they usually do after P the N! Also another round-a-bout trick is NEVER frikkin’ signalling your intentions! Osmosis DON’T work car to car.

  2. Christine

    I always loved your sense of humor and perspective on the world. Love you D. And btw… you are so right on this one. Try living in Richmond, it’s a freakin nightmare to drive anywhere here!