It’s happened before…
Someone gets accused of doing something and you are like, no way…they couldn’t have.
The image that we have in our heads of celebrities and people that are in the lime light tend to be far different than what is happening in real life.
More than once my heart has been broken and my hopes have been dashed…
O.J. Simpson…what the hell was that? Right? I still can’t wrap my head around that whole nightmare…
Tonya Harding…seriously? What the HELL were you thinking there girl, how did you possibly think that was going to end well for you, on any level…
Lance Armstrong, just absolutely no one thought that there was any chance of him doing what he was accused of, how could someone that we all looked up to, that had done so much good in the world, be a cheater??? But lo and behold…the truth came out.
He was human.
Just like you.
Just like me.
And he messed up.
Now obviously sometimes the mess up size varies.
Sometimes is affects other peoples lives, sometimes when people don’t think, the actions they take can have a ripple effect that is devastating.
So that brings us to Bill Cosby, you knew it was coming right?
I am still at the denial stage, I still want to believe that it isn’t true. I don’t want to believe that someone who has been in my life since the beginning of time, who has made me laugh, has made me think, has made a crappy day happier is a rapist.
I mean it just doesn’t work in my head. I don’t know how to process it. I don’t want one more happy place to turn to something ugly.
Unfortunately, the reality of it…regardless of whether or not he did it, is this…
Anyone can be a rapist.
Your neighbor, your brother…someones nephew, someones true love.
You just never know.
It could be someone you have no reason not to trust, someone you look up to.
That’s the horrible reality of rape, that is what makes it a crime that we need to talk about more, and why we need to understand that it isn’t the victims fault…NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION IS…or what leads up to it. No means no, on every level. Every time.
We need to teach our children how to protect themselves and to understand that there is never a time when that changes. Ever.
No means no.
It is not okay to drug someone and take advantage of them, ever. Most of us know this is common sense, we assume that everyone does…obviously this isn’t always the case. The date rape drug has been around for a long time now…someone realized what this drug did and they were like, hey…we can get what we want no matter what, by slipping this into a unsuspecting victims drink…I mean who does that shit?
Far too many people obviously.
It’s terrifying, mortifying and unbelievable all at the same time. But it happens every single day. Maybe to you, maybe to your daughter, maybe to your mother.
Would you feel safe enough in this world to tell someone that it had happened to you? Do you think anyone would believe you? Maybe not, right?
Maybe if it was Bill Cosby at the prime of his career and you were starstruck by a handsome young actor…you wouldn’t have said anything either.
I don’t want to believe it’s true. I don’t want to condemn him before he has had fair say and defended himself. I want to believe.
The thing is…people have been getting away with rape since the beginning of time. Lots of people. People in power, people with money, people with fame, the guy across the street.
You never know…
You. just. never. know.
So let’s talk about it, with our daughters, with our sons…let’s give them the tools they need to understand, to change the world…to stand up for each other and step in when they see something going down that they know is wrong.
Let’s help them understand that by talking about it, that by telling someone right away, not 30 years later… we can stop it, or at least shed a light on it. A light that makes the rapist think twice before he makes that move. Make them realize that exposure is what will stop this…not holding it inside and letting the bastard get away with it.
Let’s wake up…let’s listen…let’s talk. It’s the only way that it will ever change.