Well, hello there!

Well, hello there!

Well, hello there!

It has been approximately 2,000 years since I have posted anything here. I apologize. Sometimes life is just too crazy to make time for the things we love. Or Clarity. Or happiness.

Well that has all changed for me in the last few months. I have changed pretty much my whole life.

It’s a long story, but let’s just say that I wasn’t living for me. I wasn’t honoring myself, my worth or my happiness.

Life is way to short to not live being true to who you are when you are nearly 52 years old. I finally snapped out of it…I am now on the road to being who I am. I have made the decision not to try and save other people…God knows I should be looking at my own self and working on that. I am not here for any other purpose than to be the fucking best I can be at everything I love and want to do.

So for all you folks who look like you need saving…sorry but I am not in the game anymore. Life is a bitch but you are on your own. Take responsibility. Own your shit. Fix yourself. No one else is going to be able to do that for you. I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to see my pattern clearly and to understand that I can’t make myself better by ignoring my own issues and trying to fix everyone else’s. That was a pretty big eye opener for me…my ego got knocked down a few hundred floors. Who the hell do I even think I am?

I will tell you who I am…

I am just a  little girl that somehow got lost along the way. I am scared. I am vulnerable. I am raw. I am happy, blessed and grateful. I am so many feelings all at once that sometimes it makes me dizzy. But today, I am FEELING it all. I am owning my shit. I am learning slowly that I am worthy of great love. I DESERVE great love! I am not here to make anyone else feel better about themselves. I am here to be honored, adored and cherished.

And finally. FINALLY. I get that. I am so far from finished learning who I am that sometimes I just want to go to bed and sleep forever. It’s not easy facing yourself. It’s a hard road opening your eyes when they have been closed for as long as you can remember.

But holy hell, when that little ray of light shines through the crack in the armour, it is like nothing that I can even put into words. It is such a pure and clear emotion it makes me wonder why it has taken me this long to literally see that light. I know that it has always been there and I have just been too afraid to face my fears and my own demons. Ignoring it and doing what I always did, staying in my comfort zone and my pattern of unhealthy love was just easier.

Or so it seemed.

Today I know better. Today I know that there are things far bigger than me that have been showing me the signs for years and years. I needed the path I have been down to learn the lessons…

I know most of my friends are like, ya…no kidding sister. And right now I want to say thanks to all of you…you know who you are. We have always been here for each other, without judgement we stand by each other. We catch each other when we fall and help each other to stand back up again and face what’s thrown at us. We are sisters. And I am so amazed to have every one of you on my team!

Life is so good, it’s time to start living it for me!! Look out world!!

8 thoughts on “Well, hello there!

  1. Gwen

    You go girl. It is a hard lesson learned and hanger ons are hard to shake. One step at a time. You are definitely moving in the right direction. Best of luck in all of your new adventures.

  2. Christine

    The road of self discovery and personal growth is challenging and down right terrifying at times but so so worth it. You’re not alone D. You do have amazing friends and I hope you consider me to be one of them. I am travelling the path of self discovery and have faced many demons and challenges and so much change. Sometimes, well most of the time change makes me cringe but facing fears and allowing and trusting the process has been life altering. I am here with you on the path… you are not alone. I have loved you for a long time… lately from a distance but I’m here for you… and always will be 💕💕 you’ve got this. You are strong and courageous 💕💕

    1. Donna

      I love you my dear forever friend…and I hope you know that all of that goes right back to you as well, we really need to get together soon, maybe plan a fabulous weekend in the middle somewhere? Thanks for always having my back girl xoxo

  3. chef mimi

    Please don’t spend a second chastising yourself for not “getting” it until you’re almost 52. There’s still a lot of life to be lived after 52, trust me. I’m really happy for you. Something I learned at 40, a mere 20 years ago, was to “surround yourself with people who are good for you.” I proceeded to cut ties with lots of folks. I have Oprah to thanks for that tidbit, sadly, but it makes so much sense.

    1. Donna

      Oprah is awesome, the best thing I have learned this adventure was from her….she says, take the next best step in your journey, don’t look back or forward too far. Be in the now. Take the next best step. Bloody genius.

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