The Redneck Princess

The things that peeve me…

The things that peeve me…

The things that peeve me…

Pet Peeve #1

Toothbrushes that lose their bristles…I mean seriously what the hell is with my luck? It doesn’t matter how much the toothbrush costs, what brand it is, what color it is, or what day of the week I buy it. I am the lucky girl that gets that toothbrush. Sometimes it seems like I have lucked out and got a good one, and then suddenly there it is…that one escaping bristle that goes right to the back of your mouth and nearly chokes you to death without any warning.

How the hell are you supposed to get that bristle out without choking or puking? And why the hell does that even happen anyway. This isn’t 1942…make a fucking toothbrush that doesn’t fall apart. Right?

Pet Peeve #2

The neighbors barking fucking dogs. Just make it stop. BEFORE I COME OVER THERE….

Pet Peeve #3

That my landlord has a brain and won’t let me go over there…

Pet Peeve #4

Ex boyfriends that just will NOT. GO. AWAY. There is always one, right? I have many ex’s that I get along with fine. Some I still talk to weekly or more often…but when you need to go away. You need to go away. If I have outright told you that I don’t want to talk to you, that I don’t want you in my life in any form…that should be pretty crystal clear. I have no problem with beating around the bush. It never happens. You know what I feel and what I am thinking. So what about the 9 years of me ignoring you, don’t you get?

You are never going to borrow my bristle losing toothbrush again…

You are actually about as annoying as the neighbors dogs…do you need a bark collar? I mean seriously.

Pet Peeve #5

Holes in the road…

Now this could partially be winter’s fault…but since I have moved back to my small hometown, I have noticed that the roads are treacherous. You have to swerve and dip and maneuver like a lunatic not to break and axle. Here is hoping they didn’t use all the road budget plowing the snow, or we are screwed.

Pet Peeve #6

Did  I mention my neighbors dogs…ya.

Pet Peeve #7

Websites that will NOT let you change your mailing address because you have a PO Box…What the actual hell is that all about? It’s not a new thing…I rent a house on a piece of property with another house. I don’t really think my landlord will appreciate getting my mail, but he might be getting some. Because PO boxes are apparently offensive and make you into some kind of a mail whore. So in advance…Sorry Paul.

Pet Peeve #8

Muffin tops. Ya not the delicious kind that you eat before the bottom of the actual muffin. I mean the ones that you GET from eating a muffin after you turn about 45. I run, I drink a million gallons of water a day…and now apparently I cannot eat bread of any kind, or ice cream straight from the container. Fuck you muffin top…fuck you.

Pet Peeve #9

Rain.

It’s April…stop it already. WE ARE WET. Soggy and drowning…

Just enough spring…just enough.

Pet Peeve #10

Spell check has been ticking me off pretty badly lately. Why don’t they make a phone for people with clumsy fingers? I can’t type anything on those tiny little fucking keys on my phone to save my life. And what is with the period just showing up when you haven’t even finished the word, never mind the sentence. I tried doing the voice text thing last night, but OMG…it fucking censored me. Seriously. Fuck was F***…give me some kind of a break here already.

I think that’s probably the list for today…life is actually pretty grand for me right now, I am regrouping myself. Getting healthy in my body and mind. Trying to go with the flow for the next step in my big life adventure…

And you know what works for the dogs barking…crank up the tunes and dancing my heart out seems to be doing it.

There is always a bright side! Except for the bristles…there is just no good coming outta that one.

Happy Spring babes…